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Monday, November 22nd, 2004
10:19 am - Thanksgiving

While there are a multitude of traditions and things that people do differently on this interesting holiday, I'll spare you my take on the horror that is Tofurkey, there is one thing that I've noticed many don't do as much as they used to. This would be giving thanks, as is the nature of this holiday you're supposed to take stock of the things that you really appreciate.

It's a thing.

What are you thankful for this year?

current mood: thankful

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Monday, July 26th, 2004
1:13 pm - Laughing at ourselves

Not too very long ago, in the grande scheme of things, I posted a joke that was largely well received but there were a few that did not take to it well at all. It was of a religious nature and it poked fun at the Christians, specifically in that the idea that those that failed in their faith would burn in hell not so much as a given but because they chose to believe that was what was meant to happen.

This was the joke.

The ability to laugh is one of the greatest gifts but those that cannot bring themselves to laugh at their own beliefs or at their very selves are missing out. We are all funny, sometimes hilariously so, and that should be celebrated and enjoyed.

Those that don't get that...well, we can always hope they come around eventually.

So, here's a few selected passages from a good book. Not the good book, as some like to call it, but a very noteworthy tome nonetheless.

poking fun at the boyCollapse )

current mood: giggly

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Wednesday, April 14th, 2004
12:53 pm - That book

Creating everything was relatively easy than having to deal with the repercussions of that fact afterwards. Free will was a great idea, I don't argue that, but some of the results of it haven't been. The idea of free will was to let people see beyond the established bonds of what is and see what could be, thereby improving their own lives.

Then religion got dragged into the scene and things just got all wonky from there. Don't get Me wrong, religion has a lot of positives to it but it's the overall belief that the sacred texts apply forever that bothers Me. Certain guiding principles, certainly, but the simple fact is that the book places limits on Me.

While this can be said for any religious text, I'm specifically referring to the Bible at present.

Whatever else you may believe, think of, or hold of as a concept for the supreme being, I'm really not that complex nor all that different than all of you. The Bible teaches you otherwise. According to this book, in the most basic sense, I may be all powerful and all knowing but I cannot change and I cannot come up with original thoughts. If you take the book literally, it says that I came up with all the original thoughts, I was ever going to have, a very long time ago. Since then, I've had no other thoughts nor am I capable of changing My mind. Basically the Bible says that, unlike all of you I put on Earth, I don't have free will.

You can see where I might take issue with that. Even if you don't believe I am who I say I am, fairly used to people not believing in Me anymore, you still have to admit the Bible places limits on God. Not to shatter the image people have of Me, but that sucks!

And, for the upteenth time, I didn't write the Bible, Koran, Torah, etc. Religion was not My idea, I'd have been totally fine with there never having been any religion, unless it was celebrated or worshipped for life. Life could certainly use a bit more of the positive feedback down there, maybe you'd all stop blowing each other up, shooting each other, and generally being lousy to your fellow humans. Not to say that all of you do these horrible things but there's more than a fair number of you down there that just don't get the beauty of the Golden Rule...unless you're a bunch of masochists.

I am not a happy God today....which is why I'm going fishing again. It soothes me.

current mood: annoyed

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Sunday, February 22nd, 2004
3:10 pm - It's all in the details

* The Earth was made in 6 days, a 7th day for resting, and on the 8th day I did some fine tuning. Nobody knows about the 8th day because no one else was around...except angels but they don't share the little details. Everyone knows the 6 days and the 7th for resting and that's why you weeks are as long as they are. Maybe if more people were aware of the actual 8 day week, things would be better.

* I did not say, "Let there be light." First off, to say it means I'd be ordering someone else to do it, which I wasn't. Secondly, My powers are not voice activated so there's no reason to tell Myself that I'm going to do something. Not to mention I didn't make light before I made anything else; I made the angels first. It's interesting that people that weren't even around are so sure they know what was said and what wasn't.

* I'm not male nor am I female. I simply am.

* There is no one true religion. I am not about religion. Religions are about Me. Even if there were no religions anywhere, I'd still be here...though I suppose there would still be about the same percentages in those that believed in Me or not.

* I don't think it can ever be said enough times, you do not need to accept Jesus to be accepted into paradise; welcomed to paradise, allowed into paradise, etc. Though, it doesn't hurt.

* The last name of Jesus is not Christ!

* Call me Ishmael...that was a joke.

* Televangelists are not speaking for me, they're speaking for themselves and their wallets. Periodically they do some good but it's a self serving con job for the most part. Any goodness that sneaks in because of their works is the purest random chance.

* The 6th commandment says not to kill. Why does anyone think that such a simple rule should have exceptions? It isn't "do not kill...unless" There is no cause for any of you to kill any of your own kind under any circumstances. I do understand that it will happen from time to time but making excuses is pointless. Just to clear this one little thing up, anyone that uses Me as an excuse to kill doesn't know what they're talking about.

* Made in My image is subjective. Image doesn't mean exact duplicate. While I can take any form I choose, just because I'm cool like that, in the most basic sense My "image" is a head with two arms and two legs and a bit of body in the middle. If you think about it, there are multiple species the world over that fall into this description and they don't all look alike.

* My biggest worry, considering how peacefully you all get along with each other, is what is going to happen when you come into contact with life from other worlds. I'm not talking microbes either. I mean life that can travel over, shake your hands, and eat a meal at your table with all the proper utensils...once it figures out what they're for.

* You do not need to kneel to pray.

* Yes, there was a time before Me. The details of it are not important, for if I were to tell you...your head would blow up.

* Homosexuality, being it or doing it, is not a sin; no more than heterosexuality is. It simply is. I make people straight or gay and what they do with that is their own business from that point on. Some of you have no idea and it is either your society or your religions that cause you shame. There is no shame in being who you are and don't let anyone tell you any different.

* Anyone that promotes hatred through religion is misguided...don't hate them back for it just continues the stupidity. Pity them.

* The Devil has gotten a bit of a bum rap over the centuries...not that it isn't well deserved. He's just very misrepresented. People credit him to be absolutely evil but also think he's not as powerful as he is. I think it's because facing the reality of an all powerful evil being is too much for people so they have to both embrace the concept of his darkness but make him less than what he is, in their minds, if only to not lose faith.

* Being promiscuous, sexually, is not necessarily a good idea. I'm not overly opposed to it, the embracing of life and being nice to your fellow humans and all, but there are safety issues that many just overlook. It's not a safe way to be...

* Television is not God. I know it often seems that way, an all powerful force and a fountain of information. Just don't worship it or build idols to it and everything will be okay.

* Churches are not necessary to be true to your faith. You can get along without them without effecting your religious upbringing. However, community is very important, more for some people than others, and there is of course the philosophy of strength in numbers. Church is a gathering place for people to come together and draw strength in one another. That's all.

* Blind faith is not the way. Faith is not the strongest aspect of religion but doubt is. While doubt can lead you astray, unsure of what way to turn or which way to go, it can more firmly set you upon the right path. To accept blindly what you are told by others has no strength and can just be seen as the symptom of the mob mentality but to truly know the path you tread, it needs to be of your own choosing. Stepping away and seeing where you are from a fresh perspective can truly make for you a sound judgement.

* There are two kinds of people in the world; chocolate lovers and fools.

* Barring certain consequences that you may accrue during the course of your life, when you die you'll most likely come back to Heaven. It's kind of a boomerang thing; you started here and eventually you complete the circle. Unless, of course, you're a naughty child...then there's a special place prepared for you.

* Contrary to popular belief, Heaven & Hell are not the only two options of the afterlife.

current mood: thoughtful

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Sunday, February 1st, 2004
1:03 pm - Quality programming

What do you think of the television show Joan of Arcadia?

Also, if you've not watched the show on purpose...were there any religious reasons you might have chosen?

current mood: happy

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Wednesday, December 31st, 2003
12:59 pm - 2004 approaches

With the dawning of this new year, I was just wondering if any of you had any questions for me. Direct feed time, boys and girls and other things; is there anything you'd like an answer to?

current mood: good

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Monday, December 15th, 2003
5:02 pm - Esquire Magazine, January 2004 "Man at His Best"

The interviews within are less about doing the usual questions & answers, more with the subject telling what they've learned in life and the subject's opinion on things. A very enjoyable read.

The section done by Jack Nicholson was especially wonderful. He makes two comments on religion which I'd like to share with you:

* I envy people of faith. I'm incapable of believing in anything supernatural. So far, at least. Not that I wouldn't like to. I mean, I want to believe. I do pray. I pray to something...up there. I have a God sense. It's not religious so much as superstitious. It's part of being human, I guess.

* Do unto others: How much deeper into religion do we really need to go?

Isn't that joyful? Faith among the faithless...or faithly unspecified.

It is interesting for me to hear the supersitious reference. It's a continued point to me that many Christians have a tendency to condemn the supernatural or label it a work of the Devil. It's a rather silly notion really as the concept of God fits within the definition of supernatural phenomena.

Don't you find it so?

current mood: silly

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Wednesday, December 10th, 2003
10:43 am - pathways

It's not uncommon knowledge, for those of the Christian faith, that if you have sinned in life, if you confess said sins you will be automatically forgiven and allowed into paradise. Please! By this logic anyone can become a mass murderer or cannibal or just very very naughty and just before they pass on or are executed, confess their sins and they have a seat reserved in Heaven.

I'm sure many other religions have similar little loopholes which sound wonderful and are full of irrefutable scripture backing but still this hardly seems right on simple reflection. I'm sure many can quote verses on this, saying why this is so but really, do you feel it is good to defend the passage of evil into paradise?

Here's what I'm after, siting examples from as many religions as you are familiar with. I'm fairly positive, given certain tallies I'll not go into, that there is more than one religion with this kind of philosphy.

Happy Holidays!

current mood: contemplative

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Saturday, December 6th, 2003
2:08 pm - from on high

What do you expect of a Supreme Being?

Simpler, what do you want of your God?

current mood: relaxed

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Monday, September 29th, 2003
11:09 am

Teen_cthulhu is coming to America to crush the moochers. Teen_Cthulhu is angry, and Teen_Cthulhu grows green with rage. This creature from a nether region will destroy those who mooch off of so called friends. Watch out. The borg taught Teen_Cthulhu to hate and kill all who mooch.

Teen_Cthulhu of Borg

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11:08 am

Teen_Cthulhu has gotten back from his vacation. Teen_Cthulhu went on a journey to find himself. However all Teen_Cthulhu found was hatred and popsicles. Damn popsicles. Always two steps ahead of Teen_Cthulhu. Well once Teen_Cthulhu finds out their secret. Teen_Cthulhu will wage mass war upon them.

Teen_Cthulhu of Borg

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11:07 am

Teen_Cthulhu recently told someone to except god into their hearts, and let him drown in the blood for which is boiling with hatred. Teen_Cthulhu liked this advice and thinks more should let god into their hearts. The more gods that die is one step closer to Teen_Cthulhu becoming ruler of the collective.

Teen_Cthulhu of Borg

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Thursday, August 7th, 2003
2:57 pm

Teen_Cthulhu has just fully realized how much Borgism can do for us. if everyone would just think all together with one mind controlling us all. That had been Teen_Cthulhu's plan all along, but this leader has shown Teen_Cthulhu the way of Teen_Cthulhu's own way. Teen_Cthulhu now follows Hypnomon. Teen_Cthulhu at Borg camp got to be called Teen_Cthulhumon. Teen_Cthulhu like that. Teen_Cthulhu felt loved and excepted. Soon With the help of Hypnomon and Teen_Cthulhumon the world will know of such perfection. Resistance is futile.

---Teen_Cthulhu of Borg---

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Sunday, August 24th, 2003
9:26 am

Teen_Cthulhu just wathced the Matrix Reloaded for the first time. Teen_Cthulhu is now paranoid. What if Teen_Cthulhu hasn't been around for all these centuries waiting to rule over the puny humans. What if Teen_Cthulhu is just another program? That would explian why all the babies taste like chicken. Teen_Cthulhu doesn't know anymore. Teen_Cthulhu needs sleep.

current mood: scared

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Sunday, July 20th, 2003
3:12 pm - Teen_Cthulhu says pay homage to his red power

This is Teen_Cthulhu. Teen_Cthulhu still in highschool. Teen_Cthulhu is an ancient god still having to do homework. Teen_Cthulhu rules over all dreams. Teen_Cthulhu WILL END YOU!!! Teen_Cthulhu refers to himself in the third person and thinks everyone else should to. Teen_Cthulhu likes playing Pokemon. Teen_Cthulhu will crush you. Teen_Cthulhu hates that R'ylae only has one mall. Teen_Cthulhu loves eating babies. Teen_Cthulhu now has more pressing matters to attend to.

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Saturday, May 10th, 2003
4:23 am - Behold, it's like...kinda me...and stuff..

Bow worthless humans! I'm am the God of all things inane and childish. I rule supreme over such things as holding you're breath till you get your way, 4th grade level name calling, thinking the world revolves around me, flamewars, bad star wars sequels, those episodes in cartoons where they are nothing but flashbacks, conversations on who would win in a fight(superman or batman kinda stuff), leet speak, and of course... trading card games.

current mood: 1337...08...50 1337

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Wednesday, July 3rd, 2002
1:38 am - Opening Statement

For these three transgressions, and the fourth, I will not revoke the punnishment. For you, O'Livejournal, are an abomination in my site...

O.K., that's not a good beginning. Perhaps I should tone it down a bit. I am preparing for my apotheosis. I plan to get installed as the God of sandwitch meats and sugar water (that includes all soda!). I'm working on my eleventh labor right now, the one where I get Americans to buy water that is really not just water but water AND sugar. I think I'm going to make it. Looking forward to the ambrosia diet.

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Friday, May 3rd, 2002
7:32 am - Frag

I am the bloody god of bloody fucking profanity!
Piss Off!
Goddanm sheep raping father fuckers!

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Thursday, May 2nd, 2002
2:28 pm

Hi Gods and Goddesses! My name is Cthulhu. I have recently awoken. I've been looking for worshippers and followers. I like long walks on the beach, pina coladas and sometimes eating an irreverant cultist.

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Sunday, March 17th, 2002
3:22 pm

I am my own god. What I seek? Power, so that I may rise above the lesser deities and worthless mortals that impare my world with their exhausting inhibitions. Where they fall I will rise, and then the world will tremble.

current mood: indifferent

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